Everyone brings their stuff for you to fix so today I have something for you that is broken and needs your expertise. I'm embarrassed to show you what it is that is broken. It's something that gives me lots of stress relief so I really need to have it working. If I show it to you will you promise not to judge me or say anything to my step mom about this? She has no idea how stressful college is for me. She is such a prude I know she wouldn't understand my way of handling stress. Yes, it's a vibrator. I've tried to make it work but it won't turn on. Of course there are batteries in it. Oh, the batteries have to go in a certain way? Let's see if them inside works. It turns on again, yay! You're the best step-dad ever! See how stressed out I am? I couldn't even think to turn the batteries around.

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